With everything the government and my ex-wife put me through and the betrayal of certain family members I find being resilient an art form that evades my ability and capacity. I’m getting use to the feeling of being stuck and struggling. My life is not improving it is getting more difficult. I relied on my extended family in Vancouver to not be homeless. It’s embarrassing and humbling constantly feeling reliant on others and stuck. I sleep all the time. I’m barely ever productive. I do everything I can to avoid thinking about what happened with the exception of this post. It’s hard being tortured for a year and your own mom and sister betraying you when you need them the most. When your wife lies to the government taking away your dream of be an excellent academic student and working in the civilian sector with an important role . She was being selfish and deceptive. Not being able to hold the government accountable for wrongly convicting me in an unconstitutional court room with attorney malpractice never made me more disappointed in the country. I called and contacted every civil rights department I could think of none of them would help me with the mistreatment. The know the government here is unchecked from experience. I take depression medication to help me cope with the torture I went through and continual mistreatment the government is putting me through.

I’m not starting from scratch. Im starting from debt, an unconstitutional government controlling my life, difficulty finding work, inability to stay awake for long periods of time. Im not trying to find resiliency from rock bottom. I’m trying to breath while being beaten up to a pulp metaphorically by a tyranny government. I’m a sinking ship that has extra weights on it.

I have some people fighting in my corner who know my worth and want to protect that and see my skills be used. My family waited until my life was demolish to try and help. They found it to be too difficult of a task. I asked for support while the ship was sinking, but certain members thought it more effective to wait until the noose was tied around my neck. If I have my own kids I would never approach it as my family did. I know from experience there method was ineffective and love for many of those family members now evades me.

My leading point is that this government destroys a lot of peoples life’s with a ripple effect. The homeless population in Portland metro is increasing and it has a lot to do with how the government works. The government holds you down making it difficult for you to maneuver. They are the obstacle to your rehabilitation. The law enforcement here is not for justice. They break more laws and destroy more peoples life’s here than the homeless population do.

I’ve thought about the reform I want to be part of and how I want to work with the homeless to help them. I understand their struggles more now. I do not see this government as justice enthusiast. I see them as satanist. If you want to find a good government official it is like finding a diamond. You do not look in a pile of manure to find a diamond you look in black mud. You do not look in Portland metro for a good government official you look somewhere else. The city is in deep turmoil and it has a lot to do with this government. Your constitutional rights are not free. My advice never be a poor college student in a suppressed city community. People are leaving Portland faster than they are coming here and for good reason.

I want my engineering skills to be utilized. Being a productive member of society will increase my credibility further making the government here look like degenerates. So many people are suffering as defendants in the judicial system at a degree that is inhumane. People are serving redicolous sentences and dying in jail or prison wrongly convicted. Your faith in man kind is generally not improved after going through the wringer with these sideways government officials. So how do I use my engineering skills to complement my future dreams and bring awareness and accountability to corrupt government. How do I influence a disgusting government to admit they are in denial. I have to become something I’m not. I have to become famous and rich. With my riches I can launch private investigations against corrupt government officials. Can I turn my dreams of being a nomadic mechanizer for various farming and living conditions and agriculture into a non-profit and/or business. Can I take my renewable energy engineering and embedded systems background with me traveling improving communities that stand for the right things. Could my proceeds from making a book, TV show, promotions give me a platform to bring awareness to the disaster that many of our cities have turned into. I can take this journey which is humbling to amass popularity in the good communities of our country and others. I can spread a message about how farming and agriculture is more important than funding the jails for our corrupt government. I can reach the hearts of the broken men and women who are victim to the money hungry government willing to do anything for a buck. I fought for my country once and i’d like to do it again. I believe this conclusion can help me pave a path that will complement where my heart and mind sits. I was a victim to the government. If I can grow in popularity I could eventually bring to the surface the real news. I could transverse across lands and talk to unfortunates and get their stories.