Part 2 of the ,”A Maze With all Paths leading to Deception and Hindrance”

The last post lead into stuff I was told to keep secret. Once time resolves and this legal stuff if removed from my record it will be as though it never happened. The internet stays around forever and people will always be able to see this stuff about me on here. I could go about it and protect my identity better.

Watching the news in this area is completely dissatisfying. It is fantasy that paints the government in a good light. The government here is disgusting in almost every respect. I am putting myself out there so people can have n example of a good man to has dealt with the worse part of Oregon. Use me as an example and then consider the fact that tens of thousands of people in Oregon metropolitan area treated the same way.

When arrested you go to a jail that is under staffed. You have to sit in your room over 23hrs a day, because is a civil violation. You eat the same food they give to cattle. Right on the label for the food container it states not to be consumed by humans. The sanitary conditions are non-exist in most situations. People die in the jail frequently due to poor health care.

When you get to the jail they not only violate many civil laws in jail, but the courts violate almost all the constitutional amendments. The attorneys are working at about 40% personal needed to be a full team. The State is ran off of contracts for attorneys which is the last state to do so. The OPDS (Oregon Public Defense System) pays public defenders to come on the case, but not to finish it. They have pay incentive to not do a good job. Once the attorney gets on your case all they want is for you to take a plea deal so they can move on to the next case. I had two of these defense attorneys the first one I asked to withdraw due to misrepresentation, which was an understatement. I went to court the withdrawal was granted and the judge said I was the problem. You will find that the defense attorneys of the Portland metro area have been in many articles stated by high level officials to lack oversight and to be held accountable. This defense system is amongst the worse it the country. You sit in a jail that is torturing you mentally and physically beyond what is legal only to wait for your only chance out to come from a defense attorney who’s interest from experience has nothing to do with helping you. The defense attorneys are assigned by the judge. If the defense attorney does a good job for the defendant the judge will take them off the list. Oregon has been stated to be unconstitutional by the mayor, governor, chief of justice and district attorney. The courts are disgusting. They have the highest conviction rate, but also has the highest over turn rate. You are almost guaranteed to win an appeal in this county because they almost always do something wrong. People take plea deals very often in Washington county jail, because if you don’t your trail date keeps getting rescheduled until you do. Once they run out of reasons to reset your trail date they will make up stuff. In my experience the courts will do anything they can to not give you due process. The courts often don’t give most of your constitutional rights. They should have been audited by the American Liberty Civil Union decades ago.

When I was in the jail I wanted to start reform because I started learning how bad it was. I came up with the title FOUL (Fantasy Oregon Unconstitutional League) I wanted to make a game out with a point systems highlighting all the injustices the courts do to defendants. On paper these courts look good because of the high conviction rate, but this rate is supported mostly to fraud. People take plea deals all the time so they can get out of county jail and go to prison because its better. The courts stated on the news that they do not punish defendants if they don’t take a plea deal but they do have to wait in jail for there trail. In Washington County you are considered guilty until proven innocent and when you do get to trail in my experience the defense attorney is a second prosecutor who doesn’t stand up to the judge and district attorney. You are hardly ever given your full discovery and the only evidence often presented in court is evidence that helps the prosecutor. The court rooms are fixed. Men do not get a fair trial in this county.

After my case resolved I got multiple charges. This was after trail was rescheduled several times. The defense attorney was not prepared at all. I would have done a better job without him. I wanted to sue the defense attorney for malpractice so I called numerous attorneys. No one was able to pursue this lawsuit. I called several civil court attorneys to sue the courts, jail and state. No one would help me. Now that I was convicted it was as though I did not have rights. The government humiliated, violated my rights in countless ways and then convicted me in a court room that should have been a mistrial.

The big piece of evidence the courts had was edited to only show the parts that helped my ex-wife. The evidence presented in trail was completely put together my the prosecutor. My defense attorney did not partake in the event scheduling of the trail. He just showed up. This defense attorney should be in prison. I’ll never forget how he treated me. I wrote a 16 page letter to be submitted to the Oregon State Bar. After the rough draft was submitted I ran out of courage to look at it again to fine tune it. When I go throw the paper it gives me nightmares. I did not feel like I could submit it in the form it is in and I dont thing the Bar would do anything even if I did. The experience increased my ptsd. The most traumatic experience of my life was done by an unconstitutional government, which is unchecked making up the rules as they go.

My ex-wife tried to fix things after it was to late. The government had a story and they were going to pursue it. My ex-wife admitted to my mother and sister that she was hitting me and trying to get me to hit her back. She admitted to my mother that she lied to the cops, but when her story changed in the court room. The Judge stated she was changing her story to try and get me out of trouble. The judge was bias and unprofessional. The district attorney told the judge what to do. My family witness it in court all annotating the entire situation to be tremendously irregular. However, in this county regular, because the system is completely dysfunctional.

The evidence they used against was when my wife was following me around the apartment hitting me and throwing stuff at me and instigating me to try and get me to hurt her. All you could hear was the volume. So all the banging was associated with me because I was yelling at her. I tried to discourage her from hitting me by being very verbal and boisterous this was my second line of self defense. The first line of self defense was evading her, which I did. I boxed myself off. She exaggerated everything and made many lies.

When going to trail my mom made me believe I had a good chance to win becuase she told me in my wifes medical record she told the doctor she hurt her thumb from punching me. She mentioned my wife wrote a letter to the judge as well trying to get me out of trouble stating my ex-wife told the truth with happened. With my attorney malpractice I did not see any of the evidence until trail. I found out the evidence my mom made up never existed. She lied and led me to believe I had a chance to win in court. However, we did our research it was told that even if they caught my ex-wife lying at trail they would just think she was brave. They would not care if she lied. The court had their story and they though the book at me.

One of my charges was a misdemeanor for menacing. They said I intentionally tried to place her in fear. Empty meaningless threats are not criminalized, but in Washington County they are. They could hear me yelling at her to stay away from me. I had to serve a year in jail for my first offense for scaring someone. It does not stop there. They also told me that writing letters to my daughter was the same as writing to my ex-wife. So I got 4 contempt charges for violating a no contact order, which all carry 6 months in county jail one for each letter. As you may see the law is interpretive in this county and the worse story they can come up with is always stated as the true story in the courts of this county. The defense system is completely broken. Many of the public defenders should be in prison. I hope this message comes across clear and people research what I went through. You will find many other people suffered and are suffering because of this negligent unchecked government.

When I was in jail I pondered and brainstormed how to do reform. I often feel like the job falls on me to deal with bullies. This government is the bully. You want to see a person with devilish horns coming out of there head step into a Washington County court room. You will be amazed the things that are said in there. The constitution does not exist in this government.

I’m still stuck living in this area. I had to finish college. Luckily im down to just a couple classes. However, I am on probation and they are forcing me to stay in this disgusting area. This area is like if Detroit and Chicago had a baby. People do not desire to live here like they use to. All the locals I talk to assure me this place isn’t like it use to be. A lot of people are dissatisfied with the government and individual county’s want to separate from the democracy of these cities. The place is very liberal and corrupt. They say there needs to be a lot of change in the city, but that it would come from the community. The community needs to stand up to the tyranny. When I saw close up how bad it was I felt like I would be a Hippocratic if I was not part of the change. However, standing up to this government and/or standing up for yourself only gets you in more trouble here. The government here is for the government by the government. They are communist. Having a difference of an opinion miswell be a crime here. Once you are on the cops radar they follow you and harass you. Sure there are good cops but there are also good politicians and honest lawyers. My point is in the city good luck finding one.

So how can I be part of the change? How does this blog help me move past a Phyrexian that destroys everything in its path. A government that sleeps better by doing inefficient work.

Well I am an engineer and well versed in the technical field. I’ve been told my college professors believe I will save the world as a renewable energy engineer and other engineering traits. I want to be part of the future where things are better, but the government destroyed my life and put me in the deepest depression of my life. They taken away my ability to be a big contributor. It will be hard for me to find work and get on my feet. I’m a poor college student in the works of graduating. I’m in the prime peak of my life to make money at the age of 35. I’m supposed to be exploding into the technical industry. My hands are tied to be a big influencer. I’ll never pass background checks for years. I’ll never get to reach my full potential all because of some lies an immigrant from China made. It does not make sense to me. I was in the Army for 9 years honorably discharge with many service medals. I was a good soldier fought for my rights. Come back to the country to find my ex-wife is favored as a minority promised with a passport because of her lies and given the best treatment the government can give. The government treats me like dirt, lies and cheats the law countless ways in respect to my wellbeing and lock me up and through away the key. They laugh at me and humiliate, completely ignoring their duties as a functional government and then convict me of a crime I did not commit. I was treated me like cattle. The government here is a money maker. They get paid for making other peoples life’s miserable mostly men. They do not care who’s neck they step on. If their conviction rate is high people like the district attorney get reelected. I digress about how I can be part of the change, but one thing is for sure please understand many people in the city are suffering to a degenerate government. People are being tortured in Washington County jail everyday waiting months and years for their day in trail. It is not innocent until proving guilty. It is guilty until we have a plan to make sure you lose in court or until you are tired of sitting in a jail cell for 23hrs a day and take a plea deal to get out of jail. There are lots of class action lawsuits against this government but they monopolize the judicial system so these lawsuits are usually losing and not for good reason. The state does not see being an honest government as a way to stay economically alive. This government makes money on doing the wrong thing and it appears they do not lose any sleep over it. The glorified cocaine addicts named public defenders of Portland metro are given incentive to be some of the most disgusting people you will ever meet. The product of the judges, governor, chief of justice, district attorney have all help mutate these disgusting public defenders. I know one guy that has been in jail for 5 years and still has not gone to trail. If the courts can not win they won’t take you to trail. There objective is too physically and mentally torture you in jail until you give up and take a plea deal.

Everything that went on last year still cripples me. My life has not been improving it has been getting worse. I spent a lot of time when I released from incarceration to find support for all the civil and constitutional rights that were violated during the time of standing trial. I have an appeal in progress, but I do not have any hope things will go the way they should. I thought what happened to me only happened in Hollywood movies. The entire year plus some I felt for certain I was in a bad dream. Everything seemed surreal to me.

I followed my ex-wife to live in one of the most corrupt government places in the country. I knew it was a bad place to live. And I knew my ex-wife was someday going to probably get me into trouble. Washington County Oregon is the place where satans army begins. I am conflicted because I am told not to talk about what happened, because eventual it can be removed from my record, but the news doesn’t cover it. The general population has no clue how terrible this place is. I have tried to stand up for what was right, but they punished me more for it. The government here is absolutely disgusting. And my ex-wife served me up to them on a silver platter. Instead of my ex-wife being punished for lying to the cops, district attorney and the courtroom she was rewarded instead. She hit me in my right collarbone causing a thumb sprain. This was her only injury. I was convicted and charged with domestic violence. She hit me and hurt herself and I got in trouble for it. I did not know I could get in trouble for something I did not do.

I thought I would win at trial. I sat in jail first time ever being charged with anything in my life several months. The system was supposed to give me trail within 60 days for a fast and speedy trail, but they do not follow the constitution.

Rewinding a little bit from the beginning. I had been remodeling the house breaking down old furniture to easily dispose of it. Married at the time my wife tried to get me to stop knowing full well I was replacing the stuff with newer and better furniture. She tried to get me to stop by punching me. She hurt herself from punching me in the collarbone. So I left one side of the apartment and went to the other side to do demolition on an old broken door. She started throwing things at me to try to get me to stop. Then she moved in front of me and my demolished door making me stop. Knowing demolish is a normal part of remodeling as a carpenter nothing was out of order for me, but for her she was hitting me and trying to hurt me. She was trying to provoke me to hit her. The entire time she was recording me with her phone, which was probably in her pocket. I did not knwo she was recording me but I was suspicious. I boxed myself off and she would pretend like I was assaulting her. She was on a mission to make me look like a women abuser. She was always abusive and trying to get me to hit her. She just went a lot further this time. I never fell into her game. I managed to evade her several times walking or moving quickly from one side of the apartment to the other. She was reckless. She threatened to call the cops on me. I said go ahead you are the one who hit me. I never expected the the cops to be so crooked, the government to be so one sided, bias’s and corrupt.

At the time this lady was my wife. She is from Beijing. She was in the Chinese military as a cheerleader. She use to cheer,”Death to America”. She told me while in the military she got beat up a lot and beat up other people. She said if you did not go to jail at least once you werent a true beijing person. She said everyone went to jail there. She mentioned couples getting in fights on the streets hitting each other. She often told me I could hit her, but I always reminded her that this was against my traditions and beliefs. She spent a lot of time trying to make a seen and getting me into trouble. Her and her friends were often up to no good. They did money laundry, tax fraud and many other illegal acts.

I was in a weak part of my life when I married her. It was during my last year of graduate school. We went down to Los Angelous to get married on her birthday. Soon after me got married she starting hurting herself in front of me. I was so embarrass for marrying her but felt like the decision was irreversible. I wanted my dad to be proud of me so I tried to ride the storm.

During my last year of graduate school I was working on completing 3 degrees all simultaneously. I was the first one to do this at Oregon Tech. I was working toward a BS of science in Renewable Energy Engineering, a BS in RASCE (robotics, autonomous systems and control engineering) and a Masters in Renewable Energy engineering with an emphasis in embedded systems and a chemistry minor. My degrees were stacked with difficult course work. My graduate project was formulated with the help of a company in New Zealand that I worked for as a hydrogen infrastructure engineer and the director at OIT of the RASCE program. I had amazing support and was being pushed in all the right ways by faculty to work on a monumental project that was told to be patentable. I was stressed out and running on fumes going on my last lap to the finish line.

My wife at the time thought it was tedious. She had no idea how important it was for me to finish this project. She isn’t intelligent like me. She told me her degree was paid for by her dad and that she never had to do anything for it. We were two couldn’t have been more different when it came to academics.

Moving into my final year of graduate school I wanted a nice apartment and stability. Before this I was living in rinky dink living quarters. I told myself if I got in the Masters program I would have a nice apartment for my last year of school. The first few years of college I lived in a RV. The years leading up to this had not been luxurious. College was my main objective and I put it before everything until I got married.

We moved to Sherwood Oregon in a nice neighbor safe for me step daughter. My significant other did not know how to organize the apartment and prepare for long weeks and months constant under academic stress. I did and I knew the importance of it. I did my best to prepare for the new college year starting in September.

It was a disaster. I was putting my family first. My stepdaughter need a lot of attention and I took her under my wing. The wife was abusive to both of us and my daughter had developed disrespectful traits. She was also not happy at school as she wasn’t equipment to handle course work like the other students. I spent day and night educating her. I wanted her to be happy. My wife did not appreciate the efforts I put in as a dad. My wife did not understand what it was like to have parents who love you. Her parents only cared about money. They neglected her.

College was difficult instead of being prepared for three weeks ahead of schedule I was constantly behind schedule. My graduate project was too difficult to live the life style my wife enjoyed. My wife’s was losing money because she did not know how to manage it. She spent it faster then she made it. Appearance was important to her and money meant everything. We were in a dilemma. She wanted to live closer to work in beaverton and I wanted nothing to do with the city. I knew it was a bad place to live, but at the time I did not know how bad, but as a supportive husband I felt like I should give her a chance to lead. What I did not know is she was leading me into a death trap.

After constantly being behind the Fall term of college we had two weeks off to get our heads back. Being in my final lap of graduate school I had so many things on the back burner it was starting to fall over. And my wife caused more chaos and disorganization to the already scattered lifestyle. She was of barely any help when it came to being organized.

She told me she would do all the moving during Winter break so I agreed to the move. As we spent the two weeks off on college break to move I found that she had no idea how to move alone. I was playing the active role in it falling further behind. The Fall term had been my worst term ever grade wise and I was getting ready for Winter term even less prepared and over worked. There was no organization in my life what so ever. I could not focus at all. My lab for building my graduate project was completely torn apart and never got put back together. She had got in the the way of my biggest dreams and goals graduating college.

She became very selfish during the Winter term putting even more stress on me in college. She saw me struggle and often tried to make it worse. She became more and more abusive. I stopped loving her and stopped trusting her. We did not want to live together anymore but could not move because we did not have the finances to do so and I did not have the time.

Living in the city triggered my PTSD from being in the military. I was completely miserable. Everyday in the city I did not feel safe and if I ever left he apartment I was afraid someone would rob my college stuff losing all I have worked for. People were shooting there guns out of there window while driving and doing all shorts of crazy things. We lived right off of I5, which turns out to be one of the worse highways for kids to get kidnapped. My stepdaughter was not safe and she was going to school in a city with a culture I found to be mentally ill. I did not like her being around this culture. There were many anomalies about this culture, but here in the city the abnormal was normal. My daughters life was not as it had been. She could not play outside at the park and enjoy making friends with some innocent level headed kids.

You might find this judgmental of me and perhaps it is, but if there is a chance my daughter can live a better life somewhere else I follow the statistics. The city has high crime rate that is only increasing and lots of parents that allow their kids to grow up confused about their sex. In Portland the city next door you can bring your 12 year old child there to start getting there sex change process. The parent that let there kids do this disgust me. The parents who choose to live in the city so they can save money and have nicer cars disgust me. This place was in my mind one of the worst places to raise a family, but my wife loved it and she loved having the best stuff that made her look good even if her daughter looked terrible and showed up to school in dirty pajamas.

I was the one that took care of our daughter with many things including and already mentioned her education. I taught her the importance of being kind, loving and honest. I gave her an atmosphere to speak her mind and to live life a little more gregariously. I cared for that little girl who was neglected and not loved by her mom. I married her mom partly so I could ensure that little sweet girl could be happy and safe. I wont make that mistake again, but I did love her as my own. I did not know how special it was to have a daughter. I always thought if I had a kid I would want it to be a boy, but our bond was something I never that would reap so much happiness and reward. That little girl made me a better person. She was a part of me now and I a part of her. Our relationship was more important than the one to her mom. Her mom was a liar. I taught our daughter the best values to live by and she was very receptive. My trust for her mom was constantly changing and at this point there was no trust. My daughter and I were very thoughtful of her moms feelings and tried to respect them giving my daughter a maturity level much higher than what is normal for her age.

Things progressively grew worse as I lived in Beaverton. The cops came over anytime there was a noise complaint partially because we lived above a pot shop and it has been broken into several times and partly because any noise coming from the apartment echos carrying far distances. There were drones flying in the windows spying on us. The cops would come over and my wife would invite them in the apartment. I knew it wasn;t smart to invite them in but the wife wanted to be best friends with them. Being from China the government means everything where shes from and the cops favor the male, but in Beaverton the cops be corruption and they favor the women. Beaverton cops are notoriously corrupt, unprofessional and a nuisance. The entire Portland metro is full of corrupt government officials with Beaverton being exceedingly high on that list.

I encourage you to read about the laws and regulations. Also to check out news articles by Oregon Public Broadcasting composed by lead broadcaster Conrad Wilson. It’s hard to believe how terrible the government is. If the experience I witnessed was not done to me I would have been in disbelief about it as I find many are. I can’t stress enough on how terrible this place is. I do feel obligated to warn people to not live in this area if you can help it. Especially if you are dating awomen that is abusive and deceptive. My ex-wife is a minority who’s job in the government of China was to deceive people. The minorities do not get punished for lying in this country they get rewarded with blue cards which is a visa or citizenship. Foreigners know they can ruin peoples life’s and the government in this city will cater toward them. A lot of people I know probably know the city is a terrible place to live or believe so. I am here to confirm your beliefs. Do not make the same mistake I made. I will be paying for it the rest of my life. I hope that I am not judged by this one event that changed my life. Before this event with my ex-wife I could have got a job anywhere I want. A lot changes when you are facing a corrupt government with a agenda and when your wife is custom to have conflict with her husband pulling the police into the middle of it. She wanted to stay with me after the court hearing resolved and she mentioned in court what was written on paper about me was not true, but it did not matter. They figured she changed her story to get me out of trouble. They labeled me as a monster all because of a sprang thumb. I never knew a women hitting me could get me in that much trouble.

Turns out being a finish carpenter and remodeling an apartments is the same as breaking Washington County Law. The law is interpretive here. Men are not treated fairly and the courts are violated constitutional rights by the dozen every day. I highly eecommend for no man to ever date a women who is even slightly irresponsible and/or crazy in the metro Portland area, because the government with hem you up and they wont follow any of the court rules on the way to your false conviction. Even if there is evidence of false accusation the district attorney will still pursue prosecution. It does not matter if the alleged victim does not want it to go to court. The court wants their pound of flesh and if they can get it from the man they will. It is we’ll know across the country this county does not treat men fairly. I will start part two of this post next

When my world flipped upside down last year I lost so much. I have been in a deep hole of depression since. I’m resentful toward the parties involved. Many of my family members let me suffer and fall on my face. Many of them lied to me and increased my suffering when I needed them the most. I did not understand that. I thought family was suppose to be there for you when you need them most. My thoughts on what family meant changed dramatically since then. I wish I could go into details on it, but I am afraid I will be judged for it. The whole scenario is quite difficult to believe. I would have a hard time believing it if it hadn’t happen to me.

What happen made it impossible to be married to my significant other. She betrayed me and ruined my life. The love of my life destroyed my life and my goals and dreams would now be exceedingly difficult to reach. She was in the Chinese military and was very abusive. She often blacked out and hit me and our step daughter. After we got married she hurt herself in front of me or/and threaten to hurt herself. She made a scene causing way to much attention from third parties. She had a problem with lying, which was her specialty when she served for the Chinese government. She was a cheerleader for the Chinese military cheering, “Death to America”.

I know what was I thinking marrying this women. There was a good side to her, but her bad side was to extreme. She treated our marriage like it was a Chinese marriage. Living in a female state in the US she had every person in her corner. She was rewarded for lying and I was laughed at for getting hit by her. When we separated she took everything my dogs, step daughter, belongings. There was nothing left of my life once she decided to play some power moves. She had the government eating out of her hand.

My immediate family was never more distant. The closest relative in my immediate family was over a 1000 miles away. I was trapped in a bad situation and the key of getting out of it lied within the grasp of my blood family. They did not take action. For months I was hopeless as my life was torn down to shambles. No one came to my support until 5 months later. By then I was mentally broken. The blood family appeared, but instead of helping me they mostly pretended giving me false hope and contributing to my already massive frustration. There are many more layers to this story. Bottom line I live in an area with one of the most corrupt governments and I can’t leave soon enough. The little support I got my from my family was a day late and a dollar short. And when I say day late I mean months.

Two of my sisters who I remained close to were able to help me put things into perspective to a certain point. I don’t think they have a clue what ti did to me, but they try to relate and give me a place to vent and bounce my thoughts off of. My venting can get pretty dark which drives one away, but both sisters helped me in more than one way. They were my band-aids for the many bullet wounds that I suffered from. The damage was deep and my dissatisfaction for how they were able to help me while I was accelerating toward rock bottom never was enough. It often felt like they provided a pillow for a 100ft fall. Not very effective, but it was support and I needed to be grateful. Some things they did did make a big difference, but they were helping me with my recovery from a bad situation. What I really needed was a safety net and support when all the cards were stacked against me.

They try to relate to me, but it doesn’t feel relevant. I dont think they have felt a pain like mine, but they do say women emotions do run deep. I’m redefining my life now. One of them tells me to focus on my big dreams. She says that will help me move forward. The other I had learned is much more down to earth then I had ever expected makes me feel acknowledge to a certain extent. They have both provided me with tools that I can use for the future.

One of them helped me achieve enlightenment. She told me that her relationship with dad is much stronger than between use. She expalined in a way that announced that some family members are more important or urgent to support or be there for then others. Being the youngest of 5 siblings I never thought about it like that. My sisters and brothers have had more time to build a relationship with the parents then me. They feel like they owe more to them. I did not think of family like this. I thought we were all equals. I guess being the youngest made me naive. I learned a lot about family during this hell storm. I thought I owed it to them to always be there in time of need if I could be, but family is that easily labeled. The love in the family is like chemistry some members have a stronger connection than others. I could go into great description on what this epiphany did for me…

I’ve been all over the world doing over 200 missions, been to 6 different colleges with 400+ college credits. Served 10 years in the military. Over the last 10 years my connection to the family had changed or never was what I thought it was. I was in a state of my euphoria for the family. They were my tangled spider web. They were the crossroads that I could always resort to for finding my roots and feeling up my internal well for happiness. No this is not the case. The well was broken or never existed. The happy thoughts I had of my older siblings as a youngster were finally able to change to something new. I am coming out of a naive protective layer cocoon. I have relinquished old superstitions of what I thought family is. I am now able to delve deep inside myself and see my web work and crossroads is a figment of my imagination. My ideas and thoughts are like split ends. If I don’t take care of them they will break and/or become brittle. True strength comes somewhere from deep within. My many layers of consciousness can now be observed without prejudice better with more precision. The family way is not the optimal human way. It is just a way. I am not bound by there beliefs and standards. I know morality. With there love and support I can follow my own moral compass as I know it has been greatly haltered. Family can help you find a path, but it is up to you to choose how you will perceive and fabricate the path that fits you. As I am resentful and don’t find the love for them to be the same. I still need to find comfort in my distaste for there ways. Since I am now free of obligation to them at certain length I find forging my own path a little more vibrant.

What is this post about. It is about feeling little obligation to the social world. It is about leaving the social patterns that imprison my brain to a far to reach place. It is about finding exactness in how I resolve my fortitude. It is my fire and desire and compassion to feel thirsty for a ascetic life. Finding the rock of my soul. The nucleus my forgotten ways as a child. The depths and forgotten smiles of all smiles. The awakening to life endorphins that flow only with true inner peace. A soul is a metaphor to me, but a strong one at that. One can not forget there soul and finding it can get more difficult as our worlds open up and become larger. Often times when you lose everything you gain it all. Can I be the man to leave it all behind. It has left me. No one holds me firmly to the materialistic world. I will beat my chest at the top of a mountain as the sun sets and the stars begin to shine brilliantly on the lofts of my shoulders.

No one owes me anything. When I feel my world fall apart. My expectations of what things should hold me back or ground me into a social setting will hopefully never settle for there primitive barbaric ways again. A new man can be formed and set in stone. I will not worry about leaving behind a destiny, but instead weaving a complex pattern of fated ends only to be admired by the quantum world. There must be a new mindset forged from this discrepancy. Mistakes and fallback are learning opportunities. I will try to keep this dream alive and quantum entangle my surroundings with fortitude.

One of my favorite scientist and ideals is Richard Freymann. Richard as a kid was always taking things apart and tinkering with stuff. As a young kid he use to fixed old radios for gentlemen much older then him. Richard was also very eccentric. He had many traits that I sought after for myself. Not only was be a brilliant scientist but also a musician and artist. He was a renaissance man and theoretical physicist. He wore many hats from a broad range of styles. I want to be like him and encapsulate some of his most intriguing traits. I want to be more eccentric and daring and combine engineering with nature and different environments in the most creative ways.

Part of my research for getting ready to be an international travel journalist is researching creative things people are doing and broaden my imagination. This adventure is partly meant to improve my creativity, but a lot of that can be done while preparing for it. Questions I am asking myself correspond with renewable energy and the environment. Such as what are the new creative ways to create energy and mitigate waste. How can we build healthy effective environmental cycles. Are we maximizing our resources in the most effective way. Why are we more dependent on the government now then what we use to be. There are tribes in Africa that implement the cycle of life in a methodical way. How can I learn from this and is my goal to reach enlightenment going to be met with precision and grace? There is a lot to unload in the post. I will be composing folders of the development plans and ingenuity leading to building up to be the ultimate Handy man.

A method I have used in the past is listening to audio books while deep in the woods traveling by foot or canoe. As a continual learner I will build an extensive audio, video, ebook playlist that will come with me while I travel. I usually find more disciple to listen to complex ideas on audio books while isolated in the wilderness. I will hope to utilize this to force myself to embrace extensive wisdom and knowledge.

I recently stumbled over some videos on how to make hunting traps. I will employ this revenue and figure out where I can utilize these methods of survival with good results. I will want to put myself in situations where my hunting will be a survival key in a optimal environment. Along with hunting I will research on how to use the leftovers of my prey. How can I be a spiritual hunter. How can I embrace my native primitive heart and to what extent will I realize benefit. These answers will hopefully come in my research as the chapters of this epic adventure unfold.

Furthermore, and already light touched on is how will I optimize my environment such as vegetation, medicine and endorphins. Your body changes with the environmental changes. How will my senses be heighten or altered? What will the epiphany be that I find or overlook. What will the catch 22 be or ying yang be. In nature there is often a something that can hurt you right next to something that can heal you of that thing. Can I find the ying and yang. The diamond in the rough. Some of my goals as a travel journalist will be to bring a sense of fortitude and fortune to my philosophical ways in the endeavors. I have done research in mushroom hunting along with field work. Hopefully I can implement all these survival methods in the journey. This will be one of my primary goals. This blog post is a brainstorming tool helping me develop a mind map of where all I could go with being the ultimate renaissance man.

I have spent many years doing trade jobs and tinkering with small engines. I have fixed up vehicles, houses and a rv as some of my hands on jobs. I use to be a helicopter mechanic and armorer in the Army. I have taken the long way around when it comes to developing my trades that I have agreed upon to be useful in my future by alllowing more problems in my future forcing me to tackle more issues, which in turn may have improved my problem solving skills. Instead of buying a new car I buy a used one and purchase tools and parts to fix it. This has made a stack pile of tools doing all these odd end jobs. I enjoy working with my hands. I have some custom wood projects and many ideas to make some beautiful carpentry work. I have dreamed of making my own utopia someday with the best eye pleasing landscape. These things elude me at this time, but showed me how doing carpentry and landscaping jobs can be just as important as quality vs the desired look. Finish carpentry is an art. Many people do not want solar thermal boxes on there houses because it looks ugly. Implementing technology in the environment could have reverse effects on peoples perception and reality to the quality of life. These things need to be appreciated and I need to give off a presence that encourages my volunteer parties engaging in my international travel journalism which will employ engineer mechanization as I am a well skilled engineer. A good example and something to ponder on is the windmill. They can be helpful for grid reliance, but they give people anxiety. Technology needs its checks and balances and finesse along with look to attract potential clients and/or people that will in result enrich my nomadic mechanization travel journalism. I have to draw a crowd.

Another aspect of this is to be like MacGyver. He is this really cool character in a tv series who could fabricate or hack devices with some of the most basic items. I watch a lot of videos things such as water bottles for parts to fix something. As I am going to be traveling the world and mechanizing with limited tools I need to know how to improvise or use material that is already there. Learning how to improvise will be part of my training.

The tug of war match in my head of what makes this a good idea. I try to think what is the straw that breaks the camels back. In other words, what is the motivator or the significant event that occurred to make me lean towards this being the best idea for my future. Is it more advantageous this train of thought to proceed or should I fall back into a normal society routine.

I turned 35 yesterday. I had imagine by now I would have a wife and kids, but that life was abruptly blown apart do to deception and betrayal. I’m going through a divorce now, which is what made this adventure more probably and possible. The difficulty and struggle that has bestowed upon me during this catastrophe brings the thought to the surface that I need this adventure like a reward to make up for the hardship I faced. Is this that straw that broke the camels back? Is this the significant event that makes me feel whole-heartedly that this is the best possible choice. I seem to still need a little self convincing and direction, but all things in life worth it are usually difficult and this train of thought rides on the back of a fire breathing dragon.

When I was 20 I had just got out of my first major love. Her name was pj. She is from Thailand. When her green card expired she went back to her country creating so much distance between us making the relationship bare little fruit. I wasn’t ready to get married yet so I settled with the transition and told myself the only way to get over this lost would be to go on the ultimate adventure. Or that this adventure would make up for the lost. I was very naive, but I did convince myself to go through with this epic journey. If I had to lose the greatest love then I deserved the greatest adventure. This reasoning helped me stay determine to set up my 7 month hiking journey on the Appalachian Trail.

When I completed my active duty army contract I also was discombobulated from life experiences. So I planned out and pursued the 4 month canoe trip down the entire Mississippi river. Three different instances in my life I sought after epic adventures in hopes to sew my past shut. The benefits that can be reaped are numerous, but was I running from myself. Am I pursuing these adventurers with the purest heart. I’ve reflected a lot on this and I think if I resolve the reasoning an come up with the action jam plan I believe is fathomable optimizing its virtues then it would become the ideal plan moving forward. I have so many plans for this adventure and it has a lot of challenges for me in all the right ways. Through this journey I will recommence and become more neoteric. The limits of this adventure are far greater than arms reach and I will see to making my arms much longer as it comes be simply a task of reaching out. Ultimate creativity will be provoked and endured.

One last note to caveat is the feeling of belonging. Many humans struggle with the feeling of not belonging or not knowing your purpose. When I was on the Appalachian trail sometimes I would wander off the beaten path and get lost on purpose. These times of being completely lost the feeling of belonging seemed to vanish. Not having direction and being completely lost sometimes seems to be the key to feeling like you have purpose and belong. It is a bit of an oxymoron, but nonetheless extreme absence from some things make that thing more tangible when it is brought back into view.

Explaining a concept is difficult when the absence of most things is what gives the illusion of the concept. How do you explain such a feeling.!? What I am about to try to explain I believe many hikers have bestowed the same level of enlightenment or fondness for life. When I was 20 years old I started my first epic solo journey of hiking the Appalachian trail (AT). I walked through 14 states from GA to ME along the ridge line of the Appalachian trail. When making road crossing or pit-stops in towns and communities a few questions from people seemed to come up most often. They asked what is it like? What is your favorite part?

Answering this question was difficult, because there were so many favorite parts for so many different reasons and a plethora of difference experiences. Along the 7 month journey walking over 2000 miles my journal was plumb full. So explaining the ins and outs to these questions would be very lengthy, but I am going to narrow it down here to holistic nature of what the hiker high is and how chancing that feeling is like a well you never want to go dry.

While preparing for the Appalachian trail hike I did one 7-8 day hike in the smokey mountains. A lot of planning went into this short hike and the duration was to short to fully engulf the hiker high, but I did learn a new appreciation for big fat greasy burgers during that hike.

When I was preparing my 7 month hike for the Appalachian trail I made 20 boxes of food for mail drops approximately 100 miles apart along the Appalachian trail with an ETA (estimated arrival time). Every 1-2 weeks I would take a short detour off the AT and pick up my mail drop often making it back into the woods a couple hours later with 2 weeks supply of food.

This seven month journey I hardly had any cares in the world. My life was simple. Everything I owned was being carried on my back. The main stress I had was my need to survival in the wilderness. The more time I spent on the AT also called the green tunnel the more often I was comfortable with the journey to Katahdin ME, which is the end of the AT.

Living in the elements enduring three seasons I learned to appreciate things in life much differently. In a way I lost everything in order to gain it all. Feeling uncomfortable in the wilderness gave me a deeper appreciation for things that are comfortable. With less interacts with humans I learned to appreciate these interactions much more, and my ability to be present in a conversation was much more coherent. I was no longer easily distracted when listening to others. The way I viewed interactions was like a substantial gift instead of a cumbersome inconvenience. The silent nature of the wilderness was also something I learned to cherish as life on life terms back in society was anything but quite. This form of the hiker high S

What is it like on the green tunnel aka AT was difficult and challenging, but made my view on the normal society life perspective viewed from a slightly different angle. It gave me a breath of life. It gave me an escape from convolution. It enhanced my ability to survive. The hiker high has to be one of the best parts. When little things give you the optimal feeling with joy and your burden in life is minimizes. Your hiker high is just like the ridge line it has its ups and downs, but the journey is always worth seeking your next local maximum.

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I have been raised to be adventurist. Through my adventures I have seen 19 countries, 3 oceans and 4 seas along with most of the states in the US. While traveling I kept a journal and noted my life transformative experiences. I’ve been in college the last 10 years going to 6 different colleges. I told myself if I was single in my last year of graduate school that I would pursue my dream as an international travel journalist mechanizing WWOOF and continuing my education while traversing across the global. This blog is my first insurance policy to ensure I pursue this dream and goal I set for myself. As I progress toward preparing for this goal this will be my platform of trial and error. I feel excited about this because I am holding myself to it now, but also intimidated, fearful and cowardly toward a lacking zest to carry it out. However, I know from past experiences planning an adventure like this is always a heavy burdening feeling, but once it begins you feel light as a feather and free as a bird.